


typical nightmare-can-i-sleep-w-u fic

by igrewupwiththis



Category: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan
Genre: Ace Magnus, Angst, Coming Out, F/M, Fluff, M/M, MCGA, Nightmares, Romantic Fluff, a looot of angst, fierrochase, fierrochase fluff, no au, ok i just wanna fill this tag tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-19 05:57:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11891466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igrewupwiththis/pseuds/igrewupwiththis
Summary: i just wanted to write about ace magnus but i got carried away.in which magnus helps alex w her nightmares n more, the usual shite





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ihniwid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihniwid/gifts).



> DISCLAIMER: If I change Alex' pronouns in the middle of something that is intentional!!! read my comment down below

It started off as just another day, you know. Get up, eat, fight, die, be resurrected, go to sleep. That was my plan for today. Well, maybe not the dying part, that one was rather uncomfortable no matter how often you do it. But the day would end more differently than I thought.

 

I woke up due to Halfborn Gunderson banging on my door yelling at me to get up.

"GOOD MORNING SLEEPING BEAUTY," he bellowed and I hid my head under my pillow. "GET UP, WE WANT FOOD!"

 

I was getting kinda worried about my door resisting his pounding, so I decided to get out of here. "I'll be ready in 5!" I called and quickly washed, got dressed and opened the door to join my friends at breakfast.

 

"Sorry, I kind-" BANG.

 

I flew back a few feet and hit my head on the floor. "Ouch! What was that for?"

 

Halfborn looked at his fist which he used to knock me across my room, apparently unintentionally. My hall mates burst out in laughter. "Sorry dude," he snickered. "Didn't see ya there. I was going to knock on your door another time."

 

Meanwhile Mallory and TJ we're already on the floor, holding their bellies of laughter. I was up again, walking towards the door. "Hey! Not funny," I grumbled.

 

"You have to admit," Alex said, leaning against the wall next to my door with crossed arms, "it kinda was."

 

Her eyes were still a little puffy from sleeping and she smiled tiredly at the thought of me hurting myself. Her green curly hair had gotten longer over time so that it would cover her ears, but today she wore it in a tiny ponytail, baby hair and shorter curls that didn't make it into the pony tail still framing her face.

 

"So," I said, averting my eyes from her and clapping into my hands, "we wanna eat or not?"

 

...............

 

The day progressed and at lunch Samirah came to our table. She was glowing. Not literally of course, though can never know, but she just seemed very content and happy.

 

"Wow, did anything happen or why do you look like Magnus when he healed someone," Alex across the table called. I lowered my head a little to let my hair fall into my face.

 

"No, my dear bully of a sibling," she chuckled, "nothing special happened. But Odin's been very relaxed recently, giving me less and less missions, so I have more time for other things, for example sleep. Life is just going good at the moment."

 

I smiled at her, glad that she's happy. "That's awesome!"

 

"Yes! I also just recently had a mock exam for my flight school with a practical test and I totally aced it!"

 

Alex ran towards her. "YES! That's my weirdo sister!" Both laughed and high fived.

 

"Excuse me, but girl, I ain't the one who's dead here," she laughed.

 

"Good point," Alex said, making thinking gestures.

 

"Anyway, it was nice talking to you all but I got some work to do. Today is lindworm night, don't get yourselves killed!" She waved and flew off. I was glad to be friends with Samirah al Abbas, not only because she was badass and scary, but also because I enjoyed her company a lot. She always knew what to say and how to brighten your day.

 

"Damn, I totally forgot today are the lindworms on the field." Mallory stretched. "My goal for today is to kill one on my own, I hate those beasts."

 

At breakfast Mallory always set herself goals for the day, most of the time it was things she wanted to accomplish on the battle field. I thought it was admirable to be so dedicated. TJ and Halfborn often discussed with her the possibilities how to achieve her plans, but sometimes she won't talk about it beforehand, so she'd be surprised in battle. Just like today.

 

"You can't always think of a plan in real life," she always said. "I need to learn how to quickly come up with a plan."

 

I wasn't especially interested in their conversation about her slaying dragons, so I leaned my elbow on the table, resting my chin on my hand and let my gaze flow across the room. Valkyries flew around, people smashed each other's heads in, Alex picked the chickpeas on her plate out of her sauce...

In that moment she abruptly looked up and we locked eyes. She glared at me and I realized that I was staring, quickly looking away.

 

"But I know maybe how-" Halfborn started, but Mallory cut him off by stuffing a pancake in his mouth.

"Nope! None of that."

 

As I said, admirable.

 

* * *

 

 

On the field we we're promptly greeted by one of the dragons. It let itself fall in front of us, roaring at us with hatred.

 

Mallory and Halfborn roared back with at least twice the amount of hatred and charged. The dragon turned around itself and used the velocity to swing its spiky tail through our group.

Mallory and TJ dropped to the floor, Halfborn jumped over it, Alex was too far back to be even hit but I, being the usual slow thinker, was slammed against the next tree. I felt several things cracking and needed some time to regain my consciousness fully, but as soon as I slid to the floor I was up again.

In the meantime Mallory had taken advantage of the dragon turning its back on us and she was sitting on its neck, screaming bloody murder.

 

"Go girl!" TJ screamed, shooting at the dragons feet. "Dance, beast! Dance!"

 

Now one might think that he was crazy, but I  wouldn't go as far and call him that.

 

The dragon had noticed the person on his neck and tried to shake her off. The person, though, clung to it like her life depended on it.

She hugged its neck with her sword and pulled it towards her, suffocating the beast. The lindworm was having none of it though and thrashed to get free.

"I can't get through its scales!" she shouted, but kept trying nevertheless.

 In a moment of the beast standing still Alex had turned into a monkey to climb the tree I was slammed into, and tried to jump on the back of the dragon. It noticed her and moved away so Alex would land on the ground again - if she wasn't being impaled in mid air.

The dragon had rammed its spiky tail - which was apparently as sharp as a sword at the end of it - through Alex lower back so it would come out of her abdomen again. She morphed into a human again, looking down on herself.

"No!" I screamed, I knew it wasn't bad, she would be resurrected anyways, but still I was alarmed.

She touched her stomach with wide eyes, staining her hands with blood, and even though everything hurt, my ribs my arms my neck, I charged at the dragon. He swung his tail with Alex still attached to it towards me, I didn't have time to dodge and we collided, the impact immediately killing both of us.

* * *

 

I woke up slowly, first feeling the grass under me, telling me I was in my room. I heard nothing, I opened my eyes and looked up - the tree looking as always. I smelled of course the grass, the tree, the clay… wait. Clay?

I sat up and looked around. I wasn't in my room. I saw the different pottery utensils and mugs, vases or other carved stuff standing around the room, and that's when it dawned to me. I was in Alex' room?

That's also when I noticed Alex herself next to me. She was laying in the grass just in the same pose as I was lying, eyes closed, mouth slightly open. She looked very peaceful.

I figured she might need a few more minutes to wake up since she was not only knocked out to death but also stabbed.

My head was hammering anyways, so I decided to lay down again eyes closed and stay a while on the grass, enjoying it and the peaceful atmosphere…

"What in the Nine Worlds are you DOING here."

I must've fallen asleep again, because I was woken by a furious Alex towering over me. I rubbed my eyes and glanced at her.

"Uh.. I don't know to be honest?"

"How did you  get in here?" she asked.

"You and me died together, remember?" I said. "That's the last thing  _I_ can remember, at least…"

"And you were just resurrected here?" she said, not fully convinced.

I nodded. She rolled her eyes.

"I uh… I should be going now, I guess," I said.

"Yeah, you better."

I scrambled to my feet and stretched, walking out of her room, not looking back at her. I walked through the hall to my room, but I noticed a folded piece of paper on my door.

"TO MAGNUS," it read.

"DUE TO RATATOSK FINDING HIS WAY FROM YGGDRASIL TO YOUR ROOM THROUGH THE TREE, WE LET YOU RESURRECT IN ALEX FIERRO'S ROOM. IT WILL TAKE A LITTLE LONGER THAN USUAL TO TIDY YOUR ROOM UP, SINCE IT WAS COMPLETELY TRASHED. UNFORTUNATELY, YOU WILL HAVE TO SPEND THE NIGHT IN ALEX' ROOM.

\- HELGI, HOTEL ADMINISTRATION"

I read through the letter several times. Was this some kind of joke? I folded the letter again and walked back to Alex' room. I knocked on her door and heard her groan.

"Whatdya want?" she asked.

I handed her the letter. "This was at my room's door."

Frowning she took it from my hand, brushing her fingertips against my knuckles. As she read it her frown got bigger and she looked at me unbelievingly.

"Excuse me but what in the worlds."

"Yeah, I've thought the same."

She was still in disbelief and visibly annoyed. I scratched my neck. "Look, if you don't want that it's okay I can probably… I don't know. Go find another room or-" "Come in."

"What?"

"Come in before I'm changing my mind. They're all downstairs at dinner anyways." She opened the door farther and stepped to the side for me to enter.

I was too baffled to even say anything, so I said nothing and entered. I went to my spot under the tree and sat down, leaning against the trunk.

She closed the door and sat on one of the stools in the working station for her pottery.

"Is  your head as hammering as mine," I asked, closing my eyes for a second.

"Yeah. I can't really remember how we died, though. After I was stabbed it's a blur. Who even stabbed me?" she asked curiously.

"You don't remember?" I asked, turning my head to look at her. She shook her head no. "You we're impaled by the dragon." I leaned back again, eyes closed. "Its tail is apparently swordlike, so it went through you and then… well let's say we died headbutting each other."

Her voice was in disbelief again. "For real? How unheroic."

"I know, right."

Then there was silence. "Do you want to go to the feast?" I asked.

"Not really."

"Yeah, me neither." Although I was a little hungry, I didn't have any energy to go. I slid down the tree trunk, lying on my side and inhaling the scents of the room. I heard Alex moving and starting to work with the clay. It was so soothing to me, the sounds of the wheel spinning, her occasional sounds like a deep exhale or a cough, her steps when walking through her work station.

I wasn't planning on sleeping, just resting my eyes, listening to her. But after a while I heard water running, the light switch being flipped and a "Good night, Maggie." when she walked past me. Nothing really to get butterflies about.

For once my dreams started out as normal, I was with my hall mates on a grassy field, we had lunch there just like in the hall downstairs, but we were the only ones there. Suddenly there was a hole beneath Alex and she slipped, holding on the edge of it to not fall in. She started screaming like I've never heard her scream before. I scrambled to get her out of there but somehow it was not possible and she kept screaming. "Hold onto me!" I shouted but she wouldn't listen.

I was being ripped out of my sleep, sitting up straight. And Alex was screaming.

I jumped up and looked around and found my way to her bed with the tiny light that was still on in the work station. She tossed and turned, obviously in agony, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

I gripped her shoulders tightly and shook her softly. "Alex. Alex wake up it's just a dream. Alex!"

She stopped resisting and opened her eyes. The tears were rolling down at the sides of her face, and at first she seemed confused to see me, then relieved, then upset. She quickly sat up and wiped her face.

"What are you doing here," she said, obviously  embarrassed. "Go back to sleep."

"You were having a nightmare, so I just… it doesn't matter." I got up and walked back to my spot at the tree. "Good night."

"Nnait," Alex murmured under her blanket.

My next dream was normal, too. We were in Hotel Valhalla on the battlefield. My brain went through all the things that previously happened, the dragon, Mallory and - Alex. But when she was stabbed she wasn't silent; she screamed. Just like in my dream before she was screaming and crying and thrashing. I woke up to the real Alex screaming, too.

I got up again and ran to my friend who was kicking and boxing, screaming and crying. I grabbed her hands and pinned them together next to her so she wouldn't hurt herself, now she was lying on her side.

"Sshh Alex. Alex get up it's just a dream. Aleeex." Her crying made my heart ache so much, I didn't want to know what kind of pain she was going through at the moment. I just wanted her to know that I was there for her.

She calmed down and woke up, for the second time this night. "Again?" she asked, sounding disappointed in herself. I let go of her hands.

"It's okay," I whispered. I gave her a little smile and let the moment pass. I stayed a little at her bed's side, waiting for her breathing to normalize again. She stared at the ceiling and put her hands on her face.

I got up to walk back again but she called after me.

"Magnus?"

"What is it?"

She hesitated. "Umm.. Nothing. Good night."

"Good night."

For the third time I started dreaming, though it didn't really matter what, since it - again - ended with my heart being broken by the agonizing screams of Alex.

I didn't get tired of it, in fact  my desire to be there for her only grew. I jogged towards her, woke her up, telling her everything's okay, waited until she calmed down.

"Magnus," she asked.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Thank you."

It was just a whisper, but my heart was close to exploding. "It's okay," I said smiling. "Don't worry." I stayed a little longer, and just as I thought she fell asleep again and I got ready to get up, she said "No.".

"What?" I said. I heard her, it was no question, but, what?

"Can you stay?"

My cheeks flushed and my face became hotter than the sun. "W- I mean- yeah. Yeah of course."

She scooted over and it then occurred to me she meant stay as in _stay_. Not at the side of the bed. My heart was beating at Usain Bolt speed when I got under the covers and laid my head down. She was turned to me but her eyes were already closed. Red and puffy. So that's why they were puffy... Her face was pressed into the pillow she exhaled deeply and very shakily. A little too shaky. With a sob from her my heart broke again.

"Shh hey," I whispered, scooting closer and putting an arm around her. She nuzzled her face into my chest and wept quietly, gripping my shirt while I drew circles on her back and cooed in her hair.

"Everything is going to be okay, I'm here."

A little tear might've found its way down my face too.

* * *

 

The next day I woke up in a tangled mess. Tears had dried and I was beyond glad that Alex had kept sleeping. I didn't know how uncomfortable or awkward it would get when we both were awake so I quickly got up and left the room to see if my room was already finished. I closed the door when I heard a really loud gasp behind me.

"Holy shit," Mallory whispered. She started grinning, indicating what kind of thoughts she was having. "HALFBORN GET HERE, OOOHH MYY G-" "Keep quiet!" I urged.

"Oh and why? What were you doing in Alex' room? And why's your hair all kinds of fucked up?"

I told her of the note yesterday and how I slept on the patch of grass in Alex' room, leaving other minor details out. "And now I'm going to see if my room's ready yet. Any problems?"

"No sir," she said, shoulders slumping. Apparently she had hoped for more.

Still, Halfborn joined her and I left the two of them behind, while they we're whispering about ominous happenings on floor 19.

I walked to my room and to my surprise; it opened. I peeked inside and everything was at the place it should be. I wondered how that damned squirrel got in here, but I decided it didn't matter. What mattered was that I slept in the same room - same BED - as Alex Fierro _goddamn Magnus what have you gotten yourself into,_ I thought as I let myself fall on my bed.

Alex' screams haunted me though, a constant reminder of the pain I felt when hearing them.

Which was another point. Magnus, what are your feelings even.

 

At the breakfast table I planned to avoid Alex because I didn't know how we'd react to seeing each other. I was busy eating anyways, since I'd skipped dinner yesterday.

When he joined us he seemed well rested but also more attentive.

"Good morning, Magnus," he said in an attempt to sound normal.

Mallory and Halfborn exchanged meaningful looks.

I cleared my throat. "Morning, bro," I said. Bro? Are you serious, Magnus? You need to stop making yourself cringe.

"Wait," Mallory interceded, "how do you know Alex' gender today?"

My eyebrows furrowed in thought, since I had no idea. "Uh.. I guess I just do?"

"Does he?" TJ asked Alex.

"Yeah," he answered. "He/him is correct, today."

Our hall mates raised their eyebrows but said nothing.

Today Mallory's goal was to kill Tristan from floor 15, since he killed her dragon yesterday without her permission.

"I almost had it! And he just barged in and stabbed its belly with his spear. That's so rude, it should be a crime if you asked me."

The word 'stabbed' made me and Alex shoot uncomfortable looks towards each other.

"Honey, didn't you kill him yesterday, already?" Mallory's boyfriend asked.

"I mean technically I did but today it's gonna be intentional!"

And so they discussed how to achieve her goal today, thinking about Tristan's weak points and possible strategies. Alex and me were well aware of each others presence but said nothing to each other. I wanted to say something, but didn't want to make things worse.

So I got up and left, saying I was going to pay Blitzen and Hearth a visit.

......

"Ratatosk did what?"

Blitz was shocked to hear about my destroyed room.

"Yeah it's everything back to normal now but reparations took the whole night."

 _What,_ hearth signed. _you sleep where?_

This was supposed to say 'where did you sleep'  but the rules of english grammar didnt quite apply to ASL.

"Alex' room has a spot like mine, with yggdrasil in the middle of the room and a patch of grass below it... that's where I slept."

"Kiddo, how in the world doesn't your back hurt?"

I thought back to how comfortable Alex' bed has been and tried to shrug casually. "I guess years of homelessness made me immune."

Hearthstone looked like he wasn't fully believing it but he didn't ask any further questions.

"What have you guys been up to, anyways?" I asked to steer the conversation in a different direction.

"I am very glad you asked! The shop is going amazing, I'm having so many ideas..."

I listened carefully to how Blitzen's shop was going and how his and Hearth's life has improved, but I couldn't stop catching myself thinking of last night.

"...and then the customer goes 'this ain't silk, but close enough'. Can you believe it? You should've seen the peasant, he had no idea what he was talking about."

"Really?" I asked. I missed the first part of the story, but that was okay.

"Man it's so good to catch up with you," Blitzen said. "It's weird how our lives have changed since Valhalla."

He avoided saying 'since your death'.

"Yeah," I replied. "Crazy."

"When do you have to leave again?" Blitzen wanted to know.

I glanced at the clock that was on the counter. "Uuhh actually, right now. Thanks for reminding me, I wouldn't miss the daily battle-to-death for anything, right?"

 _h-a-h-a,_ Hearth signed. _Very funny._

I hugged both of them goodbye, and left. They kind of grew to be something like my parents I realized, and I was happy for a constant like them in my life.

On my way back to Hotel Valhalla I thought about confronting Alex with... the thing. But then I thought about how it was only a one time happening, so talking about it would just complicate things... right? Even though we did nothing horrible except cuddling... right?

Get it together, Magnus.

What one could also talk about was Alex' nightmares. Considering the things we went through I felt kind of obliged to help him. Was that possible without screwing everything up? I was his friend after all

Also there was one last topic to think about; what exactly did I feel for Alex?

Too many questions, too little answers but I decided that I would see how the coming days would go. Maybe I would think of something.

Back in Hotel Valhalla Mallory rounded us up to discuss her strategy to kill Tristan.

"Listen here ladies, Tristan is always with his two idiots of friends, so first we need to get rid of them, which is easy; Alex, Magnus and TJ are gonna get 'em. But do it so that Tristan won't notice right away. Then Halfborn is gonna snatch him and I will be glad to kill the dragon stealing bitch." Then she pointed at me and Alex. "You two don't get yourselves killed or I will have that honour tomorrow.  Are we clear?"

Alex and me nodded.

Happily she clapped her hands. "Great! I will be feared amongst the einherjar!"

Battletime came around and we got ready, with Mallory's plan in mind. We ran out into the field immediately spotting our victims. We ran in their direction, cautious to keep our distance.

When Tristan's friends were walking behind him, Mallory urged us to go. "Now, guys!"

We sneaked up close to them and on the count of three we grabbed them from behind, muffling their shouting with our hands.

"NOW, Halfborn!"

The berserker did as he was told and jumped on Tristan, tackling him to the ground.

We didn't have much time to admire them though, the two guys have started to struggle. The one I captured tried to escape and looked at me angrily but I wouldn't let him go. I was more scared of Mallory than him. "I'm actually kinda sorry, dude," I apologized. I heard my red headed hall mate shout in triumph and was distracted for a little too long second.

He flipped us around. "I am not," he growled and held his sword on my neck. I started to suffocate, feeling just like the dragon yesterday. I gasped for air, trying to push the guy off of me.

"TJ!" I tried to call but only very distant and hard breathing came out. I saw Alex struggling as well, but he seemed to be fine. He was a worthy opponent.

"Don't bother," the guy said, leaning on his sword, decapitating me. That's what I get for being distracted.

 

Resurrection after decapitation took of course way longer than usual, so it was late evening when I woke up. Dying really sucked and I needed to stop this nonsense or every day would look like this. I got up, and walked to my bed. Though I realized; I wasn't really tired. Looking around, thinking of what I could do I noticed the hole in my roof, where the tree was connected to yggdrasil.

I wondered…

Before I knew it I was climbing the tree. It felt freeing, and soon my room was a small spot below me, and around me were just the tree's branches. They swung slowly in the movement of the moving worlds. Shifting, swaying, dancing to the Nine Worlds' music. I never felt more content. Leaves swished and rustled distantly accompanying the music. There was nothing else to hear than them and my own breathing, nothing… except. Wait.

I had heard another sound. Heart beating faster in fear it was Ratatosk I climbed down on the lower branches as quietly as possible. Every few branches I stopped to listen, but nothing. I almost reached the last three branches when I heard it again. It was a sudden sound. I stayed entirely quiet trying to move to the general direction of the sound.

Then it erupted again. And now I fully recognized it. It was a sob.

I made my way to the source through the dark tree when I found a bright spot below me, other than my room. I climbed further down until I recognized the bright spot. It was Alex' room.

Embarrassed I was about to take off again, but another wail held me back. My heart churned and I balled my hands to fists.

"Dammit," I grumbled and lowered myself into his room.

 

Landing on the floor I quickly gained orientation and paced to Alex, who was clutching the sheets crying into them. It took all my courage to touch his hands, which started to loosen up. Then I woke him up.

He was still crying when I woke him up, but he was angry nevertheless. "Wha-hat are y-you do-ing h-here?" He sobbed. That's when my courage left me already again.

"I umm.. our rooms are kinda connected through the tree, and uhh.. I was hearing you and I thought.." I was going to keep stammering but our gazes met and her anger seemed to have flown away, as well as my breath.

We held eye contact a little too long, I realized my hands were still on hers, so I pulled them back and I quickly looked away. I'm such an idiot.

"I don't nee-heed a babysi-hitter," she whispered.

"Don't you.. maybe want to talk about it?"

She sat up and I immediately got scared of her. Genuinely scared I went too far. "I don’t."

"You're right, you don't," I said more to myself than to her. I stood up to go to my room again. I avoided eye contact and turned, but stopped right in my tracks when she let out a muffled sob.

I didn’t care. About anything anymore. She looked at me, hurt and scared, and I didn’t care anymore. I sat next to her on the bed and wanted to take her into my arms, but she was quicker and threw herself at me, making me fall backwards on the bed.

She sobbed and cried for gods knew how long, and I was there. With her and that was all that mattered. She hugged my midriff and cried into my chest, and I let her. After some time she calmed down, her grip loosened, her breathing became steadier. She was lying half on top of me, her face now in the crook of my neck.

"It's okay," I whispered for the hundredth time. I looked down at her and she had her eyes closed. I dared to lean my forehead against hers.

For the first time in an eternity, I heard her voice again. "Okay," she breathed.

\------------

This is how it went on for days. We told no one, and occasionally, it was me who had to be comforted. The more days passed, the earlier in the day I entered Alex' room. Sometimes I'd watch her finish her project from her bed, sometimes I waited until I was certain I couldn't sleep alone to climb over to her room.

Her nightmares had gotten a lot better. Sometimes she'd have nights where she slept through. Not this night though. Tonight it was particularly bad. I had to shake Alex awake so she would stop clawing at her own skin. It pained me to see her like this, and I teared up, panicking that she wouldn't wake up.

She opened her lost eyes and fixated me. Her hair was a mess; her eyes red and cheeks flushed, and still she looked beautiful to me. I couldn’t help but stare. In that very moment she was beauty in its purest form. Alex was beautiful. _You're beautiful._

She looked at me in shock.

"Shit," I whispered. "Did I just say this out loud?"

She still wore the same expression, and nodded.

"Shit," I said again, falling on my back covering my face with my right arm. I felt her lie down again. Then she interlaced my left hand with her right and lifted them up. I uncovered my face just in time to see her kissing my fingers. My heart leaped out of my chest.

She brushed a strand of hair that had fallen in my face behind my ear. Even though her breathing hadn't normalized yet, she smiled. I was still too stunned to do anything, and she closed her eyes. After a minute or two I turned to her, finally feeling my body again. I brushed the tears from her face and, too, a hair strand behind her ear. Again, she smiled. A single tear rolled to the tip of her nose, and I didn’t need any courage this time to kiss it away; I knew it was a tear of happiness.

With one hands in hers and another in her hair I started drifting off.

"You're beautiful, too."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> coming out, more fluff

As this went on, our hall mates grew suspicious very slowly. When Alex' and my eyes met I'd look away, trying to hide my smile. He would make less sassy remarks about me, and after battle he'd occasionally say "Good job out there", making me mutter a "thanks, you too". If I survived, that is, which became more often the case recently.

At lunch when we sat next to each other  (which was almost every time since we never arrived at the table early enough to choose our seats, leaving me suspicious about our friends' motives) and our hands would brush I'd pull away as if I was electrocuted. Which was kind of right.

At night the atmosphere would be different though. Even though we did nothing more than sleep in the same bed it felt way more natural, normal. But also intimate. Sometimes we'd share our thoughts with each other, sometimes  we'd say nothing and just enjoy each other's company. It was strange, really. But it was also nice. Not having to label it, and knowing you'd have literally an eternity with each other.

It was maybe two weeks after it all started. Alex was lying in my lap, looking at me absently while I stroked her green hair out of her face. The grass underneath us was cool and soft. She smiled.

"What are you thinking about?"

With every stroke she closed her eyes a little. Like a cat.

"Your first night here," she said. "How you saved my sorry ass."

I chuckled along with her. "Don't say that. No one needed to save you," I said.

"But you did," she replied. Then she playfully rolled her eyes. " 'Magnus Chase, breaking the rules and doing what he's not supposed to since the day he was born.'"

I had to laugh at that. She definitely wasn't wrong.

"I'm glad you did," she whispered.

"Me too."

Her eyes were hypnotizing. One bright honey colored, one deep chocolate, which often made her gaze look wild and irritated. But right now it looked focused. "What are you thinking about?"

I hadn't realized I was leaning towards her, our noses a few inches apart.

I caught myself trying to frantically make something up since I couldn't tell her I thought about her eyes, could I?

"I uh.."

"Just say it, weirdo," she laughed. Her eyes squinted from laughter and crinkled at the corners, the bridge of her nose scrunching and her cheeks showing dimples.

"Can I kiss you?" I blurted out. Her laughter muted and she looked at me surprised. With every millisecond passing a grew redder, regretting what I had said more and more.

She nodded. Our faces were still so close to each other that with one swift movement out lips connected. I couldn't even describe what I felt during that kiss, it was just too much.

I sighed into the kiss, cupping her face, and she responded with a smile.

"I was thinking about your eyes," I confessed. Merely a whisper.

"What about them?"

My hands were still on her cheeks, my right thumb brushing up and down.

"They're fascinating."

Her cheeks showed hints of red, she looked away and smiled. "I don't like them."

"Why not?"

"They are weird and make me look like I'm crazy." She crossed her eyes for the effect. It didn't look crazy, it looked cute. In my opinion at least.

I shook my head. "They suit you very well. Don't you think they're perfect for you? Pink and green, female and male, bright and dark brown. I think you couldn't be any luckier."

She seemed to think about it

"Maybe," she said.

Time passed before she said something again.

"I think yours  are fascinating, too."

"How so? They're bland basic blue."

"You know what they remind me of?"

"Hmm?"

She lifted her hand, putting it on my cheek. "When we used to go hiking and we were really far up in the mountains. The sky would be pastellified by the clouds around us and if it was warm enough you could lie down and imagine you're swimming in the sky. I miss the hazy feeling. Everything else was sort of nonexistent."

I nodded, I knew exactly what she was talking about. It was the best feeling in the world. My mom and me would choose the highest spot we would hike to, go there and have a picnic, just the two of us.

"You know what gives me this feeling?" I asked. It wasn't solely limited to hazy clouds to be able to make one feel like nothing else existed.

"Hmm?"

"Being with you."

She grinned and turned to hide her face in my shirt. I had to laugh and ruffled her hair. "Wanna go to sleep already?"

She got up from my lap and stretched. "Actually, yes."

I stood up and pulled her with me. "Let's go then, sleeping beauty."

She turned red at that but then she seemed to have an idea. "Oh my God do you think you can give me a piggy back ride? I've never gotten one!"

I've never seen her so excited about something and I didn't see why not. I shrugged, turned around and lowered myself on one knee. "Hop on lil' piggy," I called over my shoulder.

She gasped "yes!" And promptly jumped on my back. I caught her legs at my sides and got up.

"You're suffocating me," I laughed, walking towards the bed.

She snorted. "Wouldn't be the first time, right."

I shuddered at my first encounter with her garrotte, her having to decapitate me. "That was horrid."

"And I'm sorry. I actually had nightmares about it."

We had arrived at her bed and I let us fall sideways on it. I turned around to face her. "You did?"

"Oh yes, I constantly dream about the horrible things I have experienced." She paused.

"You don't have to tell me," I said quietly, but she shook her head. I was kind of glad she was telling me, not only did I want to help her with it, but I was  also beyond glad she trusted me enough to tell me such a private thing.

"In fact, every day on the battlefield turns into a nightmare… literally." While she was talking I clumsily removed the blankets from under us and draped them over us. I lied down facing her. I took her hands into mine and pressed them to my chest. "Most of the time the worst parts repeat over and over and get worse by each time, adding a new gruesome surprise every time."

"Hmm…" I said. I wished I knew what to say but in all honesty I just felt awfully bad. I wished I knew how to make her feel better, but I didn't. "I'm so sorry."

I opened my arms for her and she snuggled closer to me and sighed deeply. "Don't be. At least I know when I'm awake that nothing of it is real."

"No, it's not." I kissed the top of her head.

"I'm just getting so scared sometimes because of nothing. These dreams sometimes even intrude my everyday thoughts and I can't help it."

This broke my heart and I hugged her tighter. Then I moved her so I could look her into the eyes. I cupped her face with my hands. "Alex if you ever have doubts or bad thoughts or even just a bad feeling please know that I am always here for you." She nodded and then something about her aura changed.

"Thank you," he whispered. I brushed his cheek with a thumb. His gaze flickered between my eyes and lips. "Thank you so much." As he spoke his lips brushed against mine. I was still fuzzy and cloud-minded when he was so near so I didn't even realize it when I kissed him. More sure than last time. He responded eagerly, not as happily as last time though. He leaned on his elbow and hovered over me. "Thank you," he whispered, kissing me again. He climbed on top of me, taking my hands like I took his before. He pinned them next to my head and interlaced our hands, leaving a trail of kisses from the corner of my mouth to my ear. Down my jaw line he said "thank you" between every kiss and I sighed. Then he came back to my mouth and hovered there for a while.

"I thought you wanted to sleep, prince?" I whispered.

"Shut up, Chase," he growled back. I looked him in the eyes, like you would look at someone you wanted to provoke.

"Make me."

I tasted salt and sighs and nothing else mattered in that moment, only us only here and now. Not being able to use my hands made me crazy but it gave the situation a certain thrill. He tugged at my lower lip and I squeezed his hands. Then he trailed to my jaw down my neck, when his lips touched my collar bone I gasped.

Surprised he came back up. "Should I stop?"

My heart was pounding in my ears and I was afraid it wasn't because of excitement. I didn't want to disappoint him, but I nodded. He let go of my hands and smiled. He kissed my cheek and lied down next to me. "Tell me whenever you're uncomfortable with anything I do."

I nodded, surprised by his positive response. I was still panting, just like Alex who was stretching again, lying on his back. I turned and put my head on his chest.

"Thank you."

* * *

 

When I woke up the next day Alex was gone. His side of the bed was ruffled up and empty, but I heard the water in his shower running. It was still relatively early, surely no one would be up yet. Also climbing the World Tree was kind of exhausting this early in the morning.

I snuck out and walked to my room as quietly as possible when I heard a gasp behind me. I turned around.

Mallory stood in her door frame, wide eyed and a hand covering her mouth.

"Magnus Chase whatever you did in there you can't tell me it was the damn squirrel's fault."

It took me a while to understand what she meant but then I felt heat rising into my cheeks.

"No I- We didn't..! Look-" I tried to explain but she interrupted me. "None of that! You have some serious explaining to do!"

I was about to protest but then I caught myself before I could make things worse.

"Just leave me alone, Mallory."

I got into my room, slammed the door shut and leaned against it, grabbing my hair. I didn't know what was wrong.

It wasn't Mallory's teasing; that I was used to. I mean who wouldn't assume things when they saw me creeping out of Alex' room in the morning.

My problem was the assumption itself, not for the assumption's sake, but what it is about. I couldn't imagine to- no. Did this have something to do with how I reacted to Alex yesterday? And why did I even react like that? Wasn't it something completely normal? Then why was I so repulsed by the thought of it?

I rubbed over my face and exhaled.

I told myself to calm down. Take a shower first. Breakfast will lighten things up.

 

Breakfast did not lighten things up. While Alex tried to smile at me Mallory did too, only were those two smiles farther apart than Helheim and Midgard.

I was too embarrassed to reply to Alex but also didn't want to not answer and make him feel bad. It resulted in a half smile and a confusedly asking look from him, but also a wide grin from Mallory.

 _Later,_ I signed as discreetly as possible to him. He nodded and directed his attention to his plate.

"Friends," I said, getting up, "I wanted to meet up with Annabeth, so I'm gonna send her a raven and then get going. I'll see you guys around, I'm back before the battle starts."

Before anyone could answer I left, shoving my hands into my jeans pockets. Again, the topic I kept thinking about since yesterday popped up, and although it shouldn't be too much of a big deal, it was.

 

"Ok, so," my cousin said, stirring her iced frappucino, "you say you're less embarrassed and more scared?"

That Annabeth was in town for a few days had been a blessing. I had found her the best person to talk to about this. She was older and more experienced but also my age, she was family but not like Blitzen and Hearth. The thought of talking to them about it was... unthinkable. That's like your parents giving you the talk.

"Yeah, I just don't want to do it, you get me? I feel so uncomfortable only being associated with the topic that I want to cry. I just... Don't wanna."

She looked concerned, but not in a bad way. More like "oh, hon." Kind of way.

"I think I know what your problem is."

My heart lifted at this thought. Annabeth was always there to give you advice. Having a smart cousin was rad. "You do?"

She grinned and took another sip from her drink. "Yes, but it's not really a problem. I think you might be ace."

I playfully brushed nonexistent dust off my shoulders, and said "I am ace, but I knew that already," because I had no idea what she was talking about.

"No, idiot," she said. "I mean asexuality. You might be asexual."

"Uuh.. how do you qualify?"

"Well, it's a wide spectrum. It basically varies from 'I absolutely hate intimacy' over 'I like it but only after I've had a long and steady relationship with someone' to 'I pretty much dig it but I don't exactly need it'. And everything in between. Maybe you find yourself somewhere." She crossed her arms and leaned back, giving me time to think.

I mean Alex and me did make out but at one point I didn't like the direction things were going at all. I would prefer if things stayed at kissing. Annabeth might have a point.

"Yes," I said nodding, "I think that applies."

"Well then," she said happily, "you're welcome." She finished her coffee and leaned back in her seat. "Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

I thought about it, but lately nothing was as much on my mind as Alex.

"How do I tell him I like him?" I surprised myself, but I needed to know. She just laughed.

"Boy, I think he knows." I furrowed my brows. "But if you really want to tell him, in your situation it doesn't matter. As I said, I'm pretty sure he already knows."

"How do you know?"

"Are you kidding? You're sleeping in the same bed and talk about everything with each other, you're practically acting like a couple already."

My face flushed at the thought of him and me being official. Wouldn't it be nice though? It definitely would...

"Also I think the feeling is mutual so I don't think there is any chance he'd reject you."

I stared at her. It sounded crazy to me, but I know she was reasonable. "How did it work with Percy?"

"Oh," she said and rolled her eyes grinning, "him and me have known each other since we were twelve. As you know we almost kicked the bucket a couple of times together before we were official per se, but at some point I thought 'honestly, fuck it, we may die sooner than later' which was my biggest motivation to just... ya know. I remember once we were in this volcano thingy, and... well long story short we didn't know if we'd make it out alive so I just kissed him. And since then things were going uphill."

I rubbed my eyes and imagined baby Annabeth and baby Percy being awkward around each other, making me smile. When we had met Percy a few weeks back I couldn't help but be taken aback. Sure he was handsome and stuff, but you could practically see the bond between him and my cousin. They shot glances simultaneously at each other, laughed at the same time and even their gestures were the same. They took over each other's talking parts seamlessly, they acted as a unit. It was amazing to watch. They even both had a grey hairstreak, and I wondered where that came from.

"You two actually remind me of a couple I know," Annabeth said smiling watery, her eyes in memory. "One of them is called Nico, an Italian guy slightly younger than you. He's the son of Hades and we've known him for quite some time now."

I had to interrupt her."Wait, how is he a son of Hades, I thought Hades didn't break that promise of the Big Three?"

She tipped a finger to her temple. "He didn't. Nico was born about ninety years ago but him and his sister were put in a weird kind of place where time moves very differently, so you stop aging while you're in there."

My expression was more confused than shocked, eyes squinting at her but I didn't ask further questions.

"Anyway and then there is his boyfriend Will, a child of Apollo. You know, blond hair, light eyes, loves to be outside and has also healing abilities. Remind you of someone?"

"Damn," I said. "I'm looking forward to visit Camp Half-Blood sometime."

"It's  a mess, but you'll love it." Reminded me of Valhalla. "Especially the forest and the strawberry fields. But don't go into the forest alone, you either take a Demeter kid with you or someone else who's good with the forest spirits. I can't  wait until I'm back there. I would love to visit Valhalla sometime…"

"We'll get you in there somehow. I really want you to see it, especially since you love architecture so much." I imagined Annabeth getting along well with Mallory and had to chuckle. "I think Einheirjar are not much different from you guys. Except for maybe not caring a lot about dying."

She made a hand motion as if she was swatting away a fly. "There are quite a few people who after this war don't care anymore actually. We had a rough time."

I adjusted in my seat, looking worried at her. "But you are okay? You and your death squad of teens," I tried to lighten the mood.

"Oh yes, we're fine now. Percy and me had a hard time adjusting to the mortal college life, especially for him and it was a long way until we were able to sleep a whole night, or not be constantly on edge. Little things like that. But we're definitely good now."

It made me sad that they were so young and already went through this much trauma. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to endure all of that. Not to mention Alex, since even the daily battles turned into nightmares.

We kept talking for the longest time, sharing funny stories of our weird big families and imagining our future. We imagined her children having children and me still being sixteen, and how they will grow up with the biggest most diverse family ever. I was kind of sad that I wouldn't be able to ever start a family, but I was happy enough for her to let the thought slip away. I told her about people who had earned several PhDs while chilling in Valhalla and Annabeth was fascinated. Spending time with her made my heart lighter and mind clearer, and I wondered if that was because of some kind of Athena powers or Annabeth was just a very calming person to be with. I decided it was the latter.

 

I arrived back in the hotel about half an hour before the battle. I really didn't want to face anyone so I immediately rushed into my room. Closing the door behind me I sighed and took off my jacket. But something was off and I looked around to see what it was, and if I hadn't already been dead I would've died right there.

In my tree Alex was hanging head down, the backs of his knees hooked tightly around a high branch. His arms were hanging down too and his shirt had lifted (or fallen, depending how you looked at it) so his stomach was visible. His green brown hair was flowing in curls down which looked pretty funny to me.

"Hello Maggie."

"Jesus fuck have you any idea how much you've scared me."

He looked as if he was thinking. "Yes, I do."

I walked over to him but he didn’t bother to get down, he just tried to force his shirt to stay in place. We were about eyelevel, but it looked weird.

"Don't you wanna come down or something?" I was thinking about all the blood rushing in his head but he seemed unfazed.

"Actually I'm quite comfortable here." It had a joking tone but he didn’t smile. His brows were furrowed, eyes focused. "Why don’t you get over here…" he gripped my shirt and pulled me closer to him. "And tell me what you've been up to."

My heart was beating fast but I remained stubborn. "Not if you don’t get down here."

"Mhm." He pulled me closer. We were almost touching now, looking each other in the eyes. There was an eyelash on his cheek so I brushed it away, but didn't pull my hand away.

"You seem upset," I told him.

"Maybe." His eyes flickered to my lips and I went on tiptoes to kiss him. It sent butterflies through my whole body, but I took advantage of the situation and yanked him down from the tree.

"Whooaa- ugh," he huffed and landed not so gracefully in my arms. "What was that for?"

"Nothing, I just want to talk to you without having to laugh that's all."

He punched my chest. "You're an idiot."

"You will be neither first nor last one to remind me of that," I said, playfully raising my eyebrows. I put him down on the floor and he hugged me. "What's up?"

He swayed left and right, like slow dancing and I just went with it.

"Mallory is annoying me a lot, I want to kill her," he mumbled.

"Oh-oh. Technically you can. I wouldn't encourage you to, though."

"Mhm." He just kept swaying, not elaborating further.

"What did she do?" I asked.

"Ugh. Apparently she saw you leaving my room this morning. And of course she made assumptions and shit. I just hate it when people don’t know what they're talking about."

I knew exactly what he meant, so I nodded.

"How did it go with Annabeth?" he asked.

I smiled. "Amazing, I hadn't realized I missed her this much."

We stayed like this for a whole while until we decided to lie down in the grass. We were lying on our backs, looking into the vast endlessness of Yggdrasil. Our hands found each other and we interlaced them. I brushed my thumb up and down his hand.

"Alex?"

"Hmm?"

I was a little unsure how to ask, but I didn't think about it too long. "Can I ask you something?"

He turned his head to me. "Of course."

I inhaled. "What are we?" I was scared I might make things awkward, but he answered quicker than I was prepared for.

"Whatever you want us to be."

That answer was definitely good enough. I was happy he didn't slap a label on it and call it a relationship. That word didn't cover half of it. I could wait to call it something.

"I really don’t want to go to the battle today," I confessed.

"Me neither." After a short pause he rolled over and supported himself on his elbow, half hovering over me. "I know we can't skip, but do you think we could kill each other really unviolently so we get resurrected right away and spend the rest of the day together?"

"I'd love to… But I don't want your dreams get worse again."

He stared at me and looked away. "You're right, but… you know how they have gotten better recently."

I shook my head. "Maybe we can find someone else to kill us… also I don't know if I'm capable of killing you." He looked back at me, his eyes wearing something different. Not affection, it was something else… not negative but I wouldn't describe it as positive either. A mix. Something sappy. It was close to relief.

"We'll find someone. Maybe Tristan? He seemed pretty keen on killing us in the dining hall."

Alex chuckled at that and rolled on his back again. "Doesn’t seem like a bad plan."

 

Long story short; it really wasn't. We avoided our hall mates from the beginning to not get involved with their plans or Mallory's teasing and found Tristan right away.

"Hey buddy! Can you do me a favor?" I shouted.

"That's the guy who helped the redhead! I killed him!" His companion shouted.

"That's me! Do you mind doing it again?"

"You- wait, what?" He looked beyond confused, but his friend already charged shouting at Alex. He didn't do much, just grinned at him. His killer looked confused but rammed his sword into Alex' chest nevertheless. I had to look away. Before I was able to turn back to my new friend and killer, I already felt the blade in my left shoulder and I passed out.

 

I woke up with Alex already sitting beside me, wearing comfy clothes. He was leaning against the tree trunk, his eyes closed and his head leaned on his fist, elbow on his knee. Next to him was a plate with food and a fork. I got up and yawned.

"Good morning," he announced, opening his eyes.

"Mornin'. Where does the food come from?"

"I asked Samirah to bring us a plate," he explained shrugging.

"Amazing," I said. "Every time I die I feel like I'm starving."

While I ate Alex told me about his encounter with Mallory that day. Apparently TJ and Halfborn already know, too, which I wasn't very fond of, but what can you do.

"I just got up and left because… if I had stayed I would have decapitated her."

"Understandable." I put the clean plate next to us on the grass. "Can we go to bed? I don't wanna sleep yet, just…" "Yeah, same," Alex laughed and pulled me up.

We walked to the bed, and Alex threw himself on it, exhaling deeply. Next to the bed was my wardrobe which I opened and pulled a t shirt and some sweatpants out of.

"Lemme just…" "No worries, I'm not looking," Alex said and covered his eyes with his hands. I had to laugh at that childish gesture.

"Okay, but no peeking!"

"Promise."

I quickly changed and landed next to Alex on my stomach.

"Sweet bliss of a bed…" I said. I had a magical talent to make myself sad, because I had to think of all the people I used to belong to, who didn't have the luck of having a bed. Or a home.

I sat up.

"Alex, don’t you think life is unfair sometimes?"

"All the time."

"But why? I can't stand it. I absolutely hate it."

He sat up too and stroked my cheek. "What are you thinking about?"

"That Hotel Valhalla has easily enough space to make room for all of the homeless people in Boston but still we can't let them in. Instead they're outside freezing to death while you and me have an own room, bed, hell we even have a tree in our room!" I felt tears prickling at the corners of my eyes and I covered my face. "It's so unfair Alex."

"I know, Magnus. I know." He brushed my hair out of my face and hugged me, so I was lying on his chest between his legs. He drew circles on my back and kissed the top of my head. "I know."

It took a while until I was okay again. But Alex didn’t leave my side. And I was endlessly thankful for it.

After a while I lifted my head to look him in the eyes. I supported my weight on my hands at his sides and looked at him. I studied his face, she shape of his eyes, nose, lips, his skin tone and eye colors, even the small birthmark under his eye. In that moment I felt more thankful than ever to have him. He smiled and I felt my heart grow so much I thought my ribcage was too small to hold it.

I leaned my forehead against his. I moved to kiss him, but I stopped. I heard his breath caught in his throat and I looked at him. I had an idea. "Keep your eyes open," I whispered. Surprised he looked at me, then nodded. First I kissed his nose, then his cheek right next to it and then his lips, never breaking eye contact. His eyes fluttered shut and I tugged at his bottom lip and he seemed to get the message; his eyes flew back open. I smiled and copied his movement from yesterday, kissing his jaw line and then down his neck. To my surprise I wasn't uncomfortable with this at all, I liked it even. I arrived at the base of his neck, leaving the path of kisses, hovering over his skin. He arched his back a little, tugging at my shirt to continue. Agonizingly slowly I came back to his ear and said "So you want me to stop, huh?"

"Oh, please just shut up," he breathed. I turned my head, smiling at him and kissed him again. His hands trailed up from my chest and he pulled me closer by putting his arms around my neck. I kissed his neck again, and decided I'd give him a little present. "If you… left a hickey… I'm going to… end you," he said, kissing me but breaking away again, catching his breath. "Can't… breathe."

"Me neither," I gasped.

"Magnus?"

"Hmm?"

"I really really really like you."

I stared at him, and then smiled. I was beyond glad he said it first. "I really really really like you, too." I kissed him again out of pure happiness, fireworks in my whole body, but then let myself fall on his chest again, listening to his rapid heartbeat, both of us panting. I didn't know how long we were lying like that, in our own bubble, but I didn't care. I let my mind drift off to the happenings of the last days, I remembered yesterday evening.

"Alex, about yesterday, when I…"

"You don't have to justify anything. It's okay."

"No, I want to. I uh.. got kind of scared I guess, and this morning when Mallory caught me I was so finished I wanted to cry. When I met up with Annabeth I talked to her because I thought there is something wrong with me.."

He lifted my chin for me to look at him. "There is nothing wrong with saying 'no' sometimes. Or all the time. It's nothing abnormal." A hair strand had fallen into my face and he brushed it behind my ear.

I nodded and looked at his hair to not look him in the eyes. "That's what Annabeth said, too. Alex, I think I might be asexual."

His eyebrows went up and his eyes focused me, looking surprised but also relieved. 

"And I am so so so happy that you told me. Thank you."

I was taken aback by this, him accepting me completely without questions or conditions. I looked him in the eyes and realized that I was falling deep, deeply in love with him. "No, thank _you_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so much for reading my very first fierrochase fanfiction, it was soooo much fun, i even stayed up until half past 4 am just to finish it because i didn't want to stop.  
> if you liked it, please leave a kudo and tell me your favourite part! 
> 
> ~Dizzy

**Author's Note:**

> ok so h el l o this will be like 2 chapters long ayways it cant be fr that this tag (fierrochase) contains less than 40 works like??? and th entire magnus/alex tag only a lil over 100? hello pjo fandom we need some help ovr here?? @ihniwid is a good role model and started this so yeah
> 
> please remember to tell me if you liked it or not, if so what did you like or are there any things I could do better? also leave a kudo if u wanna help ya girl out 
> 
> thanks for reading!


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